


When She Smiles

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drama, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-04
Updated: 2006-03-19
Packaged: 2019-01-19 02:06:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12400896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: A moment like a poem, you wish you could hold it,I shut my eyes like it's frozen, it's gone when I open,It slipped past the clouds right there where it lingered,Like your girl could slip through your fingers...You're the only one who stuck it out last night,You're the only one when this world collides,The one I can't deny.  ...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

Disclaimer: Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones, Got a Basketball Jones, oh baby, oo-oo-ooo, Yes, I am the victim of a Basketball Jones, Ever since I was a little baby, I always be dribblin', In fac', I was de baddest dribbler in the whole neighborhood, Then one day, my mama bought me a basketball, And I loved that basketball... we loved that basketball so much I didn't bother to write Harry Potter.

However, we, Charelite and I, do own May… so far.

Summary: "Lily, you are like the sun to me." James propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at her. "It is true that the sun is but a star, and in all the world there are so many. But to the earth the sun provides life. I am like the earth Lily, without you, I could never be the same person.” When She Smiles:

______________________________________________________________________________ 

All Hallows Eve. 

"I can now honestly say that I, Lilea Evans, hate potions, not to mention Mr. Kensington, with a passion." Lily and I were running from the dungeons up to the Great Hall at full speed. "I can’t believe him! Taking away 15 points from Gryffindor just because I wanted to help Pete cut up his Gilfrine weed! Now honestly! You’d think that he wanted us all to fail his class!"

"Well not all of us," I quickly replied, "He was certainly happy to award Bellatrix with 20 points when she nicely informed him that Sirius was copying his potions homework under the table …ugh… she’s such a rat."

“No kidding, I can’t believe that the two of them are cousins. Sirius and Bellatrix aren’t alike in any remote way.”

“Yeah, and thank God!” We had finally reached the Great Hall, we sat down in the closest empty seats at the Gryffindor table. About every other girl in Hogwarts seemed to have the same idea as us. Eat early and leave plenty of time to dress for the dance later. Lily pointed out that there wasn’t a single boy in the great hall. (Save Peter, who practically lives in the Great Hall).

“Figures, looking nice is the last thing that any boy would care about.”

Soon enough Lily and I were back up in the common room, in a hurry to get our dresses, “Hey May!” Remus yelled, we stopped reluctantly, and turned towards Remus. “Could you come show me how this Instratilous charm works?”

I gave him an exasperated look from across the room, but trudged over to help him. Lily followed behind. “Okay, what is the exact wand motion while you say the charm?”

“Remus, is it really that difficult?” I said it a bit harsher than I meant to. He gave me an odd, helpless sort of look. I rolled my eyes and quickly tried to explain. “See, you start with the right hand stance, looping it upwards and around in a clockwise six motion. Then quickly pull it downward in a jagged cut, squaring the loop-part of your original figure six. Cut the wand across your body in a double backhanded motion while curtly nodding your head at the same time. Understand?”

Obviously he hadn’t, not only was Remus staring at me with a dull, blank expression, Sirius and James had now joined him with identical faces. I sighed loudly and prepared myself to explain again.

“This will take forever.” Lily interrupted from beside me. “From the looks of this, it will take you at least six explanations, not to mention four visual examples before they understand any of this. May, you’d be better off saving your time and explaining all this tomorrow.” I nodded in agreement.

“What’s the big hurry?” asked Sirius, “My boy Remus here needs a little assistance, what thing could be ever remotely more important then helping him with this charm?”

“You’re forgetting that the masquerade is tonight.” Said Lily.

“Yeah, so….”

“Well we’ve got to get ready!”

“What!” piped up James, “You’ve got two hours!”

“And we need every minute of it.” Lily said defiantly.

“How on earth could it possibly take two hours for you to put on a dress?”

“There is more to it than that, James. Shoes, make-up, hair, jewelry, and roommates. We honestly need two hours.”

“I doubt it, fifteen minutes at best, that leaves you plenty of time to help Remus.”

“Well if you would prefer that May and I dress up in potato sacks, and go to the dance as vegetables. Fifteen minutes would be plenty of time!”

“What’s wrong with that? It’s what I’m planning to do!”

Lily laughed and gave him a defeated sort of look. “I give up, James! A potato sack it will be!” Lily skipped up to the dorm while the rest of us laughed behind her.

“Remus, you get one more shot at understanding this…” I started.

“It’s okay, May.” Interrupted Remus, “Go get ready. Use your two hours wisely. I was only hoping to learn the charm, but instead I’ve learned just how crazy you and Lil really are! That’s more than enough info for tonight.” I punched him in the arm, and threatened James and Sirius who were both still smirking at me. Then I started up to the dorms with a smile.

“May, wait a sec,” This was James, “tell me what Lily will be disguised as tonight.”

“That’s cheating!” I teased.

“Please?” I got the puppy dog eyes with this one. “Why?” I asked curiously.

“Well… (silence)… um… There was something that I was hoping to talk with her about tonight.” I could tell that James instantly regretted saying this. Remus and Sirius both started whistling and slapping James on the back. He began blushing furiously.

“Why James,” Sirius mocked. “I was hoping to talk with Lily about something tonight also. What a coincidence! In fact I have something special to ask her…”

“…and you better be asking her about homework.” James said seriously. Sirius just laughed and grinned evilly. James ignored him and turned back to me. “Please May?”

I smiled at him. “A star.” I said quietly. “She’ll be the only one there, I’m sure of it.” James smiled at me sincerely, and I could see the thanks in his eyes.

“And May, what will you be disguised as tonight?” asked Sirius comically. I raised my eyebrows. “… you know, incase James has something to tell you tonight aswell.” James turned around and punched Sirius in the arm. “Ha, ha. There’s no need for violence mate!”

James laughed and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like ‘You’ll be sorry, Sirius’ under his breath. Sirius must have heard it to. “What James? Could you say that a bit louder? Did you just say that you’ve got something important to tell me tonight aswell!” He didn’t even give James time to answer before jumping up, “Whoohoo! James I never knew that you felt that way about me! I’m flattered! WHOOHOO! James Potter FANCIES me!” Sirius ran out of James’ reach and darted around the common room, with James chasing behind.

Remus and I laughed at the two of them, and I started up for the girls’ dorm. Time to get ready. “May!” yelled an out of breath Sirius, “What can I find you dressed as?”

“Sirius,” I yelled back, “If you’re determined to find me, then you’ll be able to! I’m not telling you what I’ll be dressed as!”

“What! That’s not fair,” He was now cornered by James. “You told James! I should get the same kind of treatment a…” Sirius didn’t get to finish his sentence; James had jumped on him from behind, and wrestled him to the floor. I laughed at them, then continued up the stairs to go help Lily.

"Wow you escaped! Bravo May!" cheered Lily as I walked into the dorm. I stopped suddenly, and was taken aback by the massive amounts of clothing that were scattered through out the room. Clothing, shoes, make-up. Everywhere!

"Lily did you get angry or something?" I asked quizzically.

"Nope, this mess is all the work of our lovely roommates. Now you can see that they really didn’t have to leave potions class an hour early for a remedial transfiguration lesson. Just needed an extra hour to admire themselves in front of the mirror. That’s just like them, isn’t it?"

"Yup, exactly. Now how long are they gonna be in the bathroom?"

"Not to worry! I’ve already got that figured out. We’ve compromised that they get the bathroom… and ONLY the bathroom, while we get the dorm. They won’t be disturbing us any time soon! So good cheer May! Grab one of these root beers and lets get started!"

Lils and I had a blast getting ready! Went through three root beers each, and we split an entire bag of Doritos. True to our word we used every moment of the two hours we needed to get ready. The end result was lovely. Our dresses looked radiant. Lily truly did shine, and I looked as intricate as a real snowflake. We didn’t have to worry about the actual masks. Dumbledore puts a spell on the Great Hall so that no one is known, unless they wish to be known. But I must admit that our hair was the most difficult part.

Lily curled my hair into soft waves, then took the top half of it up into a complex bun. A snowflake pattern. We charmed my dark blue highlights into a baby-blue, and placed beautiful (unmelting) snowflakes through the bottom part of my hair. My face was framed in soft waves, and a dainty stone headdress.

We left Lily’s hair in curls. And piled it all up on top of her head. Her face was framed with ringlets, and we set amber-based stones throughout her hair. We skillfully wove golden and white ribbons through the top part of her hair. It was my favorite part of her outfit, since Lily didn’t have a headdress; the ribbons looked almost like a crown or a beautiful headband.

Our make-up was nothing compared to that of our roommates, so I won’t even describe it. Of course they eventually broke their promise and stormed into our dorm. They were all quite the sight to see. Especially Geminey, who decided to be a Muggle lifeguard. It was…well….interesting.

Eight-thirty eventually rolled around. The roommates left, and Lily and I were finally finished. We both looked exquisite. "Ready Lils? Lets do this!"

"Wait May," Lily said as we began climbing down the steps, "Are you really intending to wear those?" She pointed to my feet where my faithful old tennies were poking out beneath my dress. She laughed at me and continued down the stairs. "I’ll wait for ya down here."

An omniscient narrator

Lily stepped into the common room. Deserted. ‘Figures,’ she thought to herself while looking at the clock. 8:17. She slumped down in a comfy looking armchair to wait for Sera. Careful not to wrinkle her beautiful dress.

"Lily?" Apparently the common room wasn’t as deserted as she had thought. Lily quickly straightened up in her chair and looked towards the direction that she had heard the voice coming from. Joseph Schulte came walking towards her. He’s a 7th year and the Gryffindor keeper for the quidditch team. He was disguised as what looked to be a bear, and carried a long stemmed rose in his hands.

"Hi, Joseph." Said Lily politely, although she was truly terrified. She was pretty sure that she knew why he was here. Now she had to think of something to say…um…"Why aren’t you at the dance?"

That had been the wrong question to ask, "Well I was waiting for you actually." Joe said shyly.

Lily pretended to look surprised, "Why would you want to do that?" she could feel her stomach filling with butterflies. This wasn’t the way she had wanted to start her night, a confrontation with Joe. She only hoped that the horror she felt inside of her wasn’t showing on her face.

"Listen, Lily," Joe took a deep breath and grabbed Lily’s hands to hold them in his own. "I know that you don’t know me very well, and I know that we are constantly rivals on the quidditch pitch. But I was hoping that tonight you might let me take you to the masquerade… as my date." Lily stared at him in disbelief. But he wasn’t finished yet. "I really like you Lily, and I have liked you for a long time. You look so beautiful tonight. Please Lily, say that you will go with me."

Lily was speechless, she couldn’t think. Words began spilling from her mouth before she was even sure of what she was saying. "Joe, I’m flattered that you asked me… but I’m not really looking for a date tonight." Joe’s face fell and he dropped Lily’s hands from his own. "It’s not that I don’t want to go with you," Lily continued, noticing his disappointment. "I’m just not ready to be in any sort of a relationship with anyone. It’s not what I want for right now. I’m sorry, but I hope you understand…"

At precisely the wrong moment May bounded into the common room "These look better Lily?" She stopped abruptly when she saw Joe and Lily together. Joe kept his eyes locked with Lily’s for a moment, then broke eye contact.

"This rose was for you, keep it, or throw it away. I don’t care." Joe’s tone had turned bitter. Lily awkwardly took the rose that Joe handed to her. Then he quickly turned away, muttered good evening to May as he passed her on his way out, and slammed the portrait behind him.

"Well this evening is certainly off to a good start," said May sarcastically while running to Lily’s side. Lily was staring sadly at the delicate white rose in her hands. "Lils, you’re a heart breaker!" This got a small smile from Lily.

"Lets just forget that this happened. We’ll have a wonderful evening all the same!" said Lily, her cheerful spirit returning. "Care if I escort you to the dance?" May laughed as Lily held out her arm. The two girls linked arms and walked to the great hall laughing and smiling the entire way.

The great hall looked beautiful. Jack-o-lanterns with all sorts of different faces were peering out from every corner. Black and orange confetti slowly drifted down from the cloud-covered ceiling, and the ‘Shrieking Sisters’ were towards the front of the hall playing on their string-instruments. The music was breath taking! The hall was filled with people, all sorts of different costumes. Everything from fairies to hippogriffs, and Sponge fish to wooden spoons.

"Well Lils, now that you’ve gotten me here, what do you intend to do with me?" asked May.

"I was just thinking about that myself, how about we go find the punch!"

"Excellent idea!" May laughed, silently hoping the night would get a bit more eventful then making constant trips to the punch bowl. Lily and May had hardly walked eight steps toward the punch before two Hufflepuff boys dressed as playing cards came up and asked them to dance. Both girls agreed. Might as well live a little! They all danced together through the first few songs, and eventually May and Lily wandered away again.

"Maybe this dance won’t be so bad!" said May enthusiastically. After her and Lily had sat down at a table. "Won’t be able to complain about having no one to dance with now!" Lily nodded in agreement. The Shrieking Sisters began to play a slower song. Couples began forming on the dance floor. "Wouldn’t it be fun to have somebody to really dance with?" sighed May, "You know, where the only thing that matters is you and that one person." The two girls sat in silence for awhile.

"Hey, it looks like you might soon be getting your chance," Lily pointed to a tall boy who was approaching their table. When the boy reached the table he smiled down at May, offered her his hand, and they went off to dance together. It was a long song. Lily remained at her table and watched May dance with the mysterious boy.

"So tell me, which house are you from?" the boy asked quietly. May was taken aback by his voice. It wasn’t the one she had been hoping to hear. She pretended that she hadn’t heard the question and kept dancing. "I’m a Slytherin, 6th year." The boy continued. "You look really beautiful tonight." May gave him a small forced smile, but remained silent. She couldn’t concentrate on what this boy was saying to her, she didn’t really care. Where was Sirius?

Lily continued to watch May dance with the boy. She was amazed by how much May had opened up in the last couple months. Seeing May dance comfortably with a stranger was defiantly a first. It was also apparent that May seemed disappointed with him. Lily smiled to herself, she knew exactly why May was saddened. He hadn’t ended up being the boy that May had hoped to be dancing with. Lily could practically read May’s mind, they knew each other so well.

"What’s there to be smiling at?" a voice asked from behind Lily. Lily turned around to see a tall boy disguised as a stag leaning on the back of her chair. "And why is a pretty girl like you not out there dancing?" The boy sat down in May’s empty seat. Disguise or not, it didn’t take much for Lily to figure out who this was. She could recognize that hair anywhere, dark brown and sticking up on end. Lily laughed.

"I’m actually quite surprised that you’re not out their dancing either…. James…"

"That obvious is it? Well believe me Lils, it wasn’t too hard to pick you out of the crowd either!"

"How so?" demanded Lily.

"With hair as red as yours, it’d be harder to spot an elephant!"

Lily laughed, "Well I guess that our hair will be both of our downfalls."

"That’s for certain!" James smiled at Lily. She looked so beautiful; he couldn’t help but to wish that she was his girlfriend. Lily was so different then any other girl he had ever known, there always seemed to be something new to learn about her. Lily was truly exquisite. "So what are you doing sitting here all alone Lilly-Billy?"

Lily nodded her head towards May, who was still dancing with the Slytherin boy. "It’s so amazing, how she’s opened up this year…I love just watching her, she has so much confidence now."

"So have you." Said James. While silently taking notice of May’s costume, so that Sirius could be informed later.

"What?" asked Lily confused.

James directed all of his attention to Lily. "You’ve opened up! Lily, until this year, I hardly noticed that you existed. But now I have this wonderful new relationship with you. And it’s almost scary to think about how I lived without you up until this point. I never knew what I was missing out on."

Lily looked deep into James’ dark brown eyes, and she could tell that he meant every word that he just said. "James, do you want to dance?" Lily shocked herself when she heard the words coming from her mouth. But James eyes lit up immediately, and he began leading her onto the dance floor. James led Lily to a less crowded area of the dance floor, and put his arms carefully around her small waist.

"Hey Prongs!" James looked over to see Sirius standing by the wall.

"Padfoot!" James yelled back, he reluctantly pulled away from Lily for a moment to talk with Sirius. "Wow, what are you up to? It’s really not like you to be standing around."

"Oh, I was just getting ready to contaminate the punch." Said Sirius while he smiled evilly and pulled out a potion vile from his cloak filled with a purple liquid.

"Jasnin potion Sirius? That’s brilliant! Looks like everyone who will be drinking the punch will have a lot of unwanted facial hair tomorrow morning."

"Yeah, so just a word of warning… don’t drink any punch, I’m gonna sneak over there now to slip this in… and, uh, have you seen May?"

"Yeah Padfoot, she’s dressed as a snowflake. She looks great, I’m sure that you won’t have any trouble finding her."

"Kay, thanks. Have fun with Lily tonight." Sirius gave James a wink, and headed off towards the food stands, while James went back to dance with Lily.

Lily couldn’t help but to feel secure, locked in James arms while they danced. This all felt so right to her, yet she didn’t want to believe it. She couldn’t. She remembered what she had told Joe earlier that evening. She wasn’t ready for a relationship, with anyone. Lily seemed to lose all sense of time, the song seemed like it would last forever, and she had no objections to that.

When the song finally ended Lily led James back to their table. "Listen Lils, It’s getting sort of hot in here. Do you wanna take a walk outside?"

"Of course," said Lily, getting to her feet "but I want to tell May first." May was on her way back to the table. She looked plenty relieved to have escaped the Slytherin boy.

"Where are the two of you going?" teased May.

"Just for a walk." Replied Lily innocently. "It’s getting kind of warm in here.

"Ohhhh" said May finally figuring out what James was up to.

"Do you want to come with us?" asked Lily.

May smiled as James’s eyes locked with hers. He was pleading with her. "No, I don’t think so." She said, while giving James a wink. "I think that I’ll stay in here and look around for Sirius."

"That sounds like a great idea!" James quickly responded. "I’m sure that will make Sirius happy, last time I saw him he was over by the punch bowl. You might find him over there."

"Okay, thanks James, I guess that I’ll see the two of you later!" May rushed off into the crowds of people to look for Sirius, while James took Lily’s arm in his and lead her outside.

\--------

The night was absolutely gorgeous. The clouds had cleared out, and now the sky was now painted with stars. The cold night air made Lily shiver and draw her shawl closer around her shoulders. Lily could see other couples walking around in the courtyard. Some sitting on the benches and kissing. Lily was positive that James hadn’t taken her outside for that though.

They walked along the stone walkways for awhile, talking about basically anything that came to mind. Lily felt so comfortable talking with James; so far her night had been wonderful. Lily led James to her favorite spot by the willow. The branches hung low, and you could see a beautiful view of the lake. James collapsed into the grass, and lay looking through the branches and up to the stars. "You fit right in Lily, you’re more beautiful then any of these stars." Lily sat down in the grass next to him, then laid back and gazed up at the stars aswell.

"There are so many," replied Lily, "How can one be any more beautiful then another. In all the universe there seem to be so many."

"Lily, you are like the sun to me." James propped up on his elbow and looked down at her. "It is true that the sun is but a star, and in all this world there are so many. But to the earth the sun provides life. I am like the earth Lily, without you, I could never be the same person."

Lily felt tears prickle in the back of her eyes, nobody had ever said something like this to her before. She had never felt so beautiful.

\--------

Meanwhile May was inside the castle searching for Sirius. ‘He’s got to be in here somewhere,’ May thought to herself, ‘it can’t be that hard to find him. Tall, dark shaggy hair, probably surrounded by girls…. Why was this so difficult.

She suddenly felt a strong pair of arms wrap around her waist from behind. May smiled and turned around. She had found the one whom she had been searching for… or rather he found her. The tall boy was disguised as an eagle, but May could see small bits of dark hair poking out from his mask. She smiled into his eyes, "I’ve been looking for you!"

"Why, I’ve been looking everywhere for you too!" said the boy.

"I was afraid we might have to send out a search party for you Sirius, I was beginning to think that you had died." May wrapped her arms around Sirius’s waist and gave him a hug. The boy froze and looked down at the girl wrapped in his arms with confusion. Sirius? What? She had to be mistaken, but he quickly regained his composure after he noticed how beautiful the girl was.

"Well luckily for both of us I haven’t died. Yet." He laughed, "Do you want to dance, beautiful?"

"Of course!" May said with a smile. She led the boy onto the dance floor, and spent the next two hours of the evening locked in his arms.

\---------

Lily and James spent nearly an hour together looking up into the stars. James had carefully put his arm around Lily’s shoulders and had her head resting against his chest. As Lily was laying there against him James looked upon her beautiful face and was reassured of the original reason he had brought her outside. She looked so peaceful, her beautiful eyes closed, and her lips curved upward in a small smile. "Lily?" James said softly. She opened her eyes slowly. "There is something that I’ve been meaning to talk with you about for a long time."

Lily sat up a bit straighter and gazed into his eyes. "Yes, James…"

"I meant what I said earlier, about you meaning the world to me. Meeting you, and getting closer to you has taught me so much. I’m hardly the same person anymore."

Lily stared up at him and remained silent. She could feel the dread building up inside her. This speech sounded oddly familiar. Hadn’t she just heard this earlier the same evening? "James..." started Lily

He ignored her and kept going. "I’m always learning something new with you, and that’s why I have been thinking that we could be more then friends. It would work out, I’m positive of it…"

"James," said Lily a bit louder. This time she got his attention. "I can’t…"

"What do you mean Lils? I’m sure that you can see just as well as I can how we would fit together perfectly, it will work." Lily believed him too, a relationship would be perfect, but…

"James its not that I can’t, I just won’t… things are more complicated then you realize."

"But why Lily, I don’t understand…"

"James, a serious relationship just isn’t what I want right now… and honestly, I don’t want to be one of those girls that you just play around with, then put up on a shelf…"

"Lily, that’s not the way I feel about you at all… a shelf is the last place I would put you."

"I’m sorry James, I didn’t mean it in that way. I do like you, a lot. And I do believe that something could work between us…but all that I am asking you, is to- to wait… I’m just not prepared."

James understood how she felt, and he didn’t press the matter any further. He looked down at this amazing girl with a new respect now. This was the first time that he had ever been rejected. Lily hadn’t been afraid to speak for what she wanted. "I understand Lily, I will wait for you." James pulled Lily into his arms and gave her a big hug.

"Thank you James, I think I’m going to go back to the castle now. I had fun tonight, and I’m truly sorry that things can’t be how you want them right now."

"Good night Lily. I guess that sometimes, the best things don’t always come easily. But I won’t give up either."

"Good," replied Lily with a smile, "Good night to you too James."

May’s night had been amazing. Sirius had been fairly quiet all evening, but equally devoted to her. The dance was nearly over; only about half an hour remained before curfew. "I have a surprise for you…" May looked up at the boy with surprise. "Come on, let’s get out of here."

The boy led her by hand out of the Great Hall, and up the steps. "Where are we going Sirius?" May asked innocently.

"That’s the surprise, close your eyes…." May gave him a questioning look. "I’ll lead you there. You trust me, don’t you?"

"Absolutely!" responded May, she willingly closed her eyes and allowed the boy to lead her through the halls.

James trudged back up to the castle. After Lily had left him he stayed under the willow tree, just thinking and trying to figure things out. Oddly enough, he hadn’t felt too crushed about Lily’s rejection, instead he felt hopeful. ‘Next time,’ he thought to himself, ‘I will give her a reason to say yes. There won’t be a doubt in her mind.’

The courtyard wasn’t quite as crowded as it had been when James had brought Lily out before. He could only see a few couples scattered here and there. James continued walking through the courtyard when he spotted someone familiar.

Sirius, disguised as a large black dog was sitting on a bench with his arms wrapped around a girl that he was kissing. "Sirius…" laughed James, "I see that you’ve found May….” James stopped what he was saying immediately when he saw the girl. It wasn’t May. James recognized her as a Ravenclaw girl, in the seventh year. What was going on?

"James!" Sirius yelled back to him, he kissed the girl he was with one last time, then got up to join James. The girl straightened out her dress then ran back inside the castle, waving goodbye to Sirius as she ran.

"What on earth was that?" asked James seriously. "I thought you wanted to be with May?"

"Well I did," said Sirius a bit harshly, "but when I found her she was already with a boy. She’s been with him all night; I doubt that you could get her away from him if you had a dump truck pulling her in the opposite direction. Forget it James, May didn’t want to be with me tonight. At least I’ll know the truth now."

"That doesn’t make any sense," said James, "when I last saw her she was looking for you, and wanted to dance with ONLY you…."

"Well obviously that changed."

"No, I don’t think so, let’s go in and try to find her… or at least see who she’s dancing with."

……

The great hall held no signs of May... "Well she’s got to be here somewhere." Sighed James in frustration.

Remus eventually came to join the two boys. "Who are you guys looking for?"

"A beautiful, giant, snowflake… that’s what." Said Sirius, "Have you seen May anywhere Remus?"

"Yeah actually…I talked to her about ten minutes ago, said that she was leaving with you."

"What!" asked Sirius in shock. "With me?"

"Yeah, but seeing as you’re not with her… I’d guess that I’m pretty safe as to say that she’s not with you."

"Wow, Remus, you’re a quick one… captain of the obvious we shall call you!" laughed James.

"Listen Rem, which way did she go?" pleaded Sirius. Remus pointed to the left doors, towards the transfiguration wing. And Sirius quickly ran off.

May had been walking for quite awhile, she could feel herself climbing up the fifth flight of stairs. Where on earth was Sirius taking her? She couldn’t think of anything that was up this way except for empty classrooms. What sort of surprise did Sirius have planned?

The boy kept leading May through the deserted halls. Finally she felt him bring her to a stop and open a door. He led her inside, and she could feel cold, drafty air blowing against her face. "Sirius, this surprise better be good." Teased May.

"Trust me," he responded, "You’ll love it."

May felt herself being lifted from the ground, and set on top of a desk. "Sirius, what on earth?" May opened her eyes, she couldn’t stand the secretiveness any longer. Her eyes were greeted with darkness. But from the little that she could see of her surroundings she could tell that Sirius had taken her into an empty transfiguration classroom. May pulled the mask off her face and looked up at Sirius. He hadn’t removed his mask yet.

" May." Said the boy, as if he had just figured out some valuable piece of information.

"Yeah, so what’s the big surprise?" May asked innocently. The boy moved in closer to May and put his arms around her waist. He leaned in against her and pressed his lips onto her cheek. ‘Something’s not right,’ thought May with panic, this wasn’t like Sirius at all. "Take off your mask." May demanded.

"If that’s how you’d like it," said the boy. He pulled the mask away from his face…. It took May’s eyes awhile to adjust in the darkness, but she could already see the boy’s unfamiliar features.

"Sirius?" She was now positive that her question had been in vain, this boy defiantly was not Sirius.

"I can be who ever you want me to be…" said the boy, as he moved closer to May.

"No," said May quickly, trying to move farther away. She begged her eyes to recognize who this boy was. She almost had it, her eyes had just about adjusted. Amos Diggory.

May’s stomach dropped in horror. How had she ended up in an empty classroom with Amos, how could she have let herself be so ignorant, so stupid? She had fallen for Amos’s trick. "Amos, I want to leave. I don’t want to be here with you…."

"But you only just got here May." He leaned in closer to May. She tried to move away from him, but he caught her arms and pinned them down to the desk. "…And it looks like you won’t be leaving for awhile."

Sirius raced towards the transfiguration classrooms. He had no way of being sure that he could find her there, but he could feel the constant pang in the back of his chest. May was in trouble, somewhere, he could just feel it. The entire hallway was completely dark… five doors lined each side of the hallway. Which one would May be in? He had to find her.

He tried the first doorway…locked…. he raced to the other side of the hall, third door down… locked. "Darnit! Sirius yelled in frustration. He continued trying the doors.

May couldn’t escape him. Amos’ strong arms held her down with such a massive force that she never could have guessed he possessed. "Please Amos, let me go." May pleaded desperately.

Amos pinned her arms to the desk harder. May screamed in pain, but was silenced as she felt Amos’ cold lips press against her own. She continued to struggle against him, but couldn’t get her arms free. Amos tried to kiss her again, but she jerked her head away just in time. May yelled for help. "You stupid ho," Amos grunted. May raised her feet up and kicked him in the stomach.

Amos gasped in pain, and let go of one of May’s arms. She lifted herself off the desk with one arm, and tried to protect herself. But not before his hand flew towards her. Hitting her right in the side of the face. The impact of the blow made May fall back onto the desk. She yelped in pain, and stopped struggling. She let the darkness take her.

May remembered little of what happened after that. Except that Amos had been confronted and challenged by someone. The two boys yelled at each other a bit, and then Amos was hit with a stunning spell, he fell to the floor with a thud. Unconscious. May felt someone trying to prod her awake.

"May, are you alright, May..?" asked a familiar voice. May muttered something softly, then fell back into the comforting darkness.

Sirius carried May back through the halls and up to the Gryffindor tower. Her face was beginning to bruise from where Amos had hit her, and dark red marks had formed where he had been holding her down. Sirius couldn’t help but to think that she still looked beautiful, he wished that he could take away all of the pain that she felt right now. If only he had gotten to her sooner….

Sirius found Lily in the common room; she immediately helped him take May upstairs to the dorm. Where they put her into bed and she slept.

"My word, I can’t believe this happened!" screamed Lily furiously, when she was back in the common room surrounded by the rest of the marauders. "Amos hasn’t seen anything yet until he hears from me." James held the shaking Lily tightly in his arms. Lily let herself collapse into him. His warmth felt so comforting to her right now. She wanted to cry. This night had turned horrible.

"Don’t worry Lils," said James comfortingly. "Sirius is up there with her right now. She’ll be fine…. And you will be too…just relax." Lily took his word for it, and closed her eyes, allowing herself to fall asleep in James’ arms. Hi! As you might know, I have co- authored another story – Deep Into Your Eyes, which is actually the beginning of this story. we've decided to cut it in half and put this out as its own story.

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To answer questions since I started straight in the middle:

Lily, May and the Marauders are in their 6th year.

Lily & May are not exactly popular- as in reality, not all ppl are. They have, however, befriended the Marauders where James has fallen in love.

Umm… It’s basically starts out in a diary format, then goes to different POV. This chapter starts with May’s POV, the next chapter will be Lily’s.

We will be updating as soon as I get my next chapters. Charmelite, who actually wrote this chapter, I wrote the next one, has all the chapters on her computer because my harddrive died and I lost all of mine. So, please be patient. We have busy lives.

We hope you enjoyed it. Once I get the rest of the chapters, there will most likely be a forward and maybe a few chapters before this one.

Anyways, thank you tons for reading this and send me a review to help me out! Muchos Gracias!

Abarraine and Charmelite 


	2. Cinderella

Disclaimer: We don't own the Harry Potter ship, that belongs to J.K. Rowling. Plus, we're not even British. We do own May and Isabel and Andrew.

Authors Note: Enjoy this and please review. If you have any questions, please ask them in a review, we're very nice people, we won't bite. Thanks.

Abarraine and Charmelite. 2005.

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When She Smiles: Cinderella

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November 1 - Lily

Why do all good things have to go bad? I get accepted to Hogwarts but lose a sister, I reach my goal in climbing the huge elm in my back yard, but fall and break my arm, May has a wonderful life, loving parents, but with Voldie's quick word, they disappear in front of her very eyes. I hate life.

But most of all, I hate seeing May hurt both mentally and physically.Never in my wildest dreams (and I have a huge imagination) would I have thought someone would try to abuse May in that way. May's my sister, her pain is mine. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Last night, I fell asleep in James' arms. It was so secure. He was sitting on the couch and consoling me, and the next thing I know, I'm asleep in his arms. He was there for me when I was lost. What I said to him earlier was the truth, but I still needed his friendship. I'm so confused right now. Love, what is it really?

James woke me up about 1 in the morning when Sirius came down. I immediately went to see May.

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"May?"

"hmmm." May was laying in her bed, head propped upagainst her pillow and mine. Her dress was still on, flowing gracefully over the bed spread like a large, golden canopy. I tried to be strong for her, although at that moment I felt anything but strong, I'd never seen her so banged up.When I finally found the courage to look at her face, I was surprised to see that she was smiling.

"Lily, calm down," she asked casually. "It's not that big of a deal."

I was shocked, "Strong one, eh?" I forced a laugh as I sat down next to her.

"¡Claro! But whoever survived on strength alone?"

My heart swelled with emotion. How could May keep such strong faith in spite of all that was falling apart around her. I looked deeply into her clear and bright eyes, searching for something that might tell me whether or not she was being completely honest. I found nothing but truth, so I demanded one last answer from her. "May, how can you still manage to smile, how can you be so strong?"

May's eyes flicked towards the window for a moment and she began to respond slowly, "Lil, I saw my parents die..." She took a deep breath then met my eyes and smiled at me once more. "I prayed."

I smiled back, May was so faithful. I grabbed her and gave her a huge hug.

"Maya, I'm gonna grab some ice for you, unless you want that bruise to get even bigger."

"Kay. I'll probably be asleep when you get back...and Lily, I'm not as strong as I seem." She smiled a sad smile then turned on her side, her back towards me.

"No one is, May." I kissed her head and headed down to the common room.

()(while Lily was with May)() "I'm gonna kill that ! Sirius muttered as he sat in the seat that was just vacated by Lily.

"I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to Lily. I think I'd have killed him." James glanced at Sirius. His eyes were red and he was leaning on the arm rest of the couch.

"She told me...she told me it was all her fault. How could it have been? She was deceived!" Sirius whipped his head back up to glare at Remus and James. "And that...that how the heck do I deal with this! First off, he hit on my girlfriend, then he bloody hit--"

"I never realized you cared that much for her." Remus said.

"I'd ask her to be more than friends, but... Dang it! She probably doesn't find me trustworthy."He responded half-heartedly.

"Who would?" Muttered Peter.

"What?" James asked after hearing half of Peter's comment.

"I said...I umm... I said... Why wouldn't she?"

"Idiot."

"James, what would you do?"

"Me? I told you, I'd have killed him."

"Seriously." Sirius grinned in the awkward moment.

"Give him a piece of my mind... and my fist. Anyone touches Lily, they pay."

"I'm gonna go find that bloody !" with that Sirius jumped up and marched out of the porthole, but not before Remus yelled his piece of advise.

"Padfoot, remember May... you commit a murder or get yourself expelled, how are you gonna protect May? Or start a relationship with her? Padfoot, don't do anything stupid. Please."

Sirius just looked back and nodded.

James, Peter, and Remus were still sitting on the couch discussing the episode when there was a soft noise on the girls' stairs.

"Lily? What are you doing?"

"Ice, I was gonna grab some from the kitchens for May's head. Helps with the swelling." James couldn't keep his eyes off Lily. She was still dressed in her gown and her hair was beginning to loosen, ringlets were falling down her back. She was beautiful, even then, and so caring. He couldn't picture Lily not looking beautiful.

Immediately he got the image of Lily in May's position. His face darkened for a moment. Lily was his life, even if she had rejected his question. He couldn't let anything happen to her, he made a promise to himself right there, that even if she may not be his, he would still protect her until the end. Forever.

"I'm coming." He jumped off the couch and grabbed her hand.

"Okay." James pulled her towards the door, but stopped abruptly when she let go of his hand. "Where's Sirius?" the look of question was written all over her face.

"Well... let's just say he went to pay some revenge." Remus said in the deepest seriousness.

"Your kidding? He'll get expelled! He should have just taken this up with Dumbledore! James," Lily turned to look at James once again. Her eyes pained. "We have to find him before he goes and kills that dirty piece of ."

Peter's jaw dropped, James grinned, and Remus' eyebrows almost reached his hairline, which wasn't much considering his hair was really shaggy.

"You... you... you just... swore!" Peter managed out, but with much effort.

"Your point? We'll be back soon, hopefully with Sirius and ice, maybe Sirius will need ice too..." James and Lily walked out of the porthole and into the cold hallway. All the lights had been put out. It was around two in the morning, the masquerade having ended at midnight; most respectable students were in bed or in their common rooms.

Lily shivered as a soft breeze blew through the hallway. James eyed her and slung his arm around her bare shoulders. Lily looked up and they made eye contact. Lily quickly broke away, feeling as though she had let him down.

"Lily, I just want you to know that I meant every word of what I said tonight. And... well..." James looked at Lily, her pale yellow gown shimmering in the moonlight, half her hair had come out and was falling freely down her small, glittery back. Her dainty wrists held her small, cold hands which were hugging her ribs and her feet were covered by soft slippers that made no sound at all. But most of all, he looked into her eyes. The expression in them was fear and pain.

He never wanted her to feel those. He couldn't express the way he felt about her right now, but he was determined to show her what he was made of. That he wasn't some pompous rich prankster, but that he was one person out of the billions of people in the world... and he loved her. Yes, he'd finally let himself think it. No more denial. After what had happened to May tonight, his love for the little girl beside him had heightened to an extent that he found he was almost incapable of holding in. He, James Potter, loved Lily Evans. "Lily, You'll always be here, won't you?"

Lily stopped, shocked, and looked up at James. His face held the utmost sincerity that she had ever seen. His mouth was partly open, waiting for her answer. His brows were furrowed, probably mentally bashing himself for saying it.

"Why would I leave?" Lily smiled up at him. He relaxed considerably.

"I mean, when we get older, out of Hogwarts. We'll still be friends, if--" He stopped himself from saying it, she wouldn't like that. But what he had meant to say was - if not more. "When your sixty and I'm sixty-one" Lily laughed at his randomness. "I'll floo over to your Victorian house and have a cup of your famous hot chocolate and then we'll go and ski the Alps."

"Of course I'll always be here. We'll always be friends." His face seemed to darken a bit, but then his smile returned.

"Friends." he replied as he took off his over coat and put it around the freezing red head.

"umm hmm."

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"Mum, what's for dinner?" An eight-year-old girl asked her mother while focusing on her coloring book. The princess was going to wear a yellow ball gown.

"Your father wanted spaghetti and meat balls,does that sound good, Mayan sun?" The little girl's mother was shaping meat and placing the rounded balls onto a cookie sheet.

"Mum? Why are you making them like that?" The mother laughed as her daughter drug her chair to the counter next to her mother. "Can I help?"

"Certainly! I'm doing it this way because I went to a muggle workshop and decided to try out the oven. I think of it as an adventure! No! May, wash your hands first!"

May retreated hesitantly towards the sink. "When is dad going to be home?" She asked while running her tiny pale hands under the warm, fragrant water.

"He's busy, he'll be late, he's playing the field tonight, hun."

"Again?"

The mother sighed. "Again."

The mother and daughter spent the following twenty minutes giggling and shaping meatballs into Christmas trees and stars and little M's. After May's mother put the meatballs in the oven and stirred the noodles, May went back to coloring in her muggle Cinderella book.

May's mother was obsessed with Muggles. She had asked for a muggle oven for her 11th anniversary and a television for their 12th. She stongly believed that in order to truly appreciate the gift of a magical life you had to understand and appreciate the alternative; the muggle way of life.

May's mother was breath-takingly beautiful. She had bright blue eyes and long, straight black hair. Her skin had a slightly olive tinge to it, and the most defining, yet beautiful, of her features were her high cheek bones. A gift from Italian relatives. She was of medium height, not much hope for her daughter, and always had a sparkle in her eyes.

Her name was Isabel, she'd come from an all wizarding family and had a wonderful childhood. She was an auror, as was her husband, Andrew. But Isabel worked as an undercover spy and healer, not on the field, as she liked to call it when talking to her daughter; the apple of her and Andrew's eyes.

Andrew held a long standing career at the ministry, he fought battles, took down the death eaters and many times dueled with Voldemort himself. He was one of the top aurors, along with Edward Potter.

Isabel and Andrew had married young, right out of Hogwarts. They had had May after settling down in a nice neighborhood and obtaining a stable auror job.

Isabel was rinsing the noodles when the fireplace in their spacious kitchen grew green. Inside was a head, Andrew.

"May, hun. Why don't you run upstairs and grab your salsa record, we can play it." The Delfin family had grown long accoustomed to salsa dancing around the kitchen during meal preparation.

"Sure Mum!"

"Isa, there wasn't any need to send May away, I have good news! There are signs that old Voldie's power is lessening and I've been given three days off... you too! So I’ll be straight home as soon as I finish my report of Xzanderstin."

The man in the fire was handsome, if you could have seen him in proper light, you would have seen his sharp gray eyes and curly dark hair. He had a flashy smile and was grinning as though he were the luckiest man in the world.

"That's wonderful! I'm making spaghetti and meatballs! Come quick Andy. I'd kiss ya, but I'd rather not singe off my eyebrows." Isa gave a hearty laugh and turned to see May running into the kitchen.

"Found it! Hey dad! Gonna be home soon?"

"In half an hour!"

"Yeah!" May skipped around the kitchen, doing twirls and ballerina jumps. Her parents just smiled.

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"Wonderful dinner Isa!" Said Andrew, after they had finished their meal. "I think I'm ready for that game of chess, munchkin."

"Okay! I'll go set it up! I think I left it in the closet."

"Hmmm, I'm gonna start the fire in the study, we can play in there, while your mother reads her book."

"Sounds wonderful." Isabel said sweetly while she leaned in to give Andrew a loving kiss. As they locked themselves in each other's arms, they were suddenly interupted by a loud popping noise outside their front door. "Hmmm," Isabel raised her eyebrows in a suggestive sort-of way, "are we expecting any guests?" Andrew shrugged his shoulders while giving her alook of pure amusment. Isabel momentarily lost herself in his gorgeous smile and in his laughing eyes.

A louder thud echoed from the front door way. "Awww, must be important. I'll get it." Isabel reluctantly pulled away from her husband's warm embrace and headed towards the door.

"May, found it yet?" Isabel said to her daughter who was practically inside the hall closet.

"Almost got it." came the muffled reply.

"I'll help!" Andrew opened the closet door wider as Isabel opened the front door. There wasn't even enough time for Isabel to gasp as the green light hit her full in the chest. Andrew whirled around when he heard the curse, shoving May into the closet, trying to close the door. He whipped out his wand, but he wasn't fast enough for Voldemort got to him first.

The closet door never shut. May witnessed the murder of her parents right in front of her eyes. Thankfully, she had been in the closet so far that Voldemort had not seen her. Little May collapsed as the front door was slammed and she cried, too scared to crawl out of the closet. She had heard and seen everything, Voldemort and his death eaters had killed her parents, then in a matter of seconds destroyed nearly everything that she had ever been able to associate with 'home'. May remained motionless in that closet for what seemed like hours until the ministry officials arrived. She was lost within a state of unconciousness, misery, and disbelief. She could smell the smoke of what could only be her house burning, she could see her father's smooth face and her mothers slender piano fingers lying motionless on the floor. The only thing she could comprehend at that moment was one word. Alone.

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Lily and May woke up at the same time...to May's screams.

"May! May what's wrong?" Lily ran to May's bed and hugged the bawling girl.

"No..no..choke...noth...nothing. I.. I.. I just had a night hiccup a nightmare. Lil? Ever felt like you've been thrown away?"

With that last butchered question May collapsed into Lily's loving arms and wept herself to sleep. Lily couldn't help but cry; so much pain.

Lily fell asleep about an hour after May had cried herself to sleep. This day... night... had been horrible.

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November has finally come. I'm sitting here by the lake. I am thoroughly exhausted. Yesterday was too eventful.

May's beside me, sleeping. She told me about her nightmare this morning while I was french braiding her black hair. I'd never known how her parents had died, but when she finished we were both red in the face from crying so hard.

Now it's a little bit before dinner on an average Indian summer day. The pond is dancing in the sunlight. It's been a tough enough day. May seems to have gotten over last night, but then she's most likely just putting up a front. I really wish she wouldn't.

Sirius came back last night without one scratch. It was rumored all around the school this morning at breakfast that Diggory had done the unbelievable and someone had pounded him to a pulp for it. He was now in the hospital wing with a broken arm and a shower full of bruises.

Sirius was so angry. He wouldn't let May out of his sight. In fact, Remus, James and Sirius are here sitting with us. May is sleeping in Sirius' lap while he's running his fingers through the ends of her braids and gently over her bruise. He's twirling her ringlets around his fingers.

I've glanced at him and May enough to know that this is the beginning of a very close friendship for them.

James is reading one of the Lord of the Rings books while laying his head on my legs. I'm still wondering how that could be comfortable in the least! I'm so bony! He says he doesn't mind, maybe its his hair, that unruly hair.

He has also been by my side the entire day. I guess we now know what it feels like to be the Princess of England or even the daughter of president of the USA. We have our own secret service, I guess I don't mind. I mean after what so easily happened to May I fear for myself, especially with the Slytherins who all hate my guts.

Remus is laying on his stomach with a magnifying glass looking at all the creatures in the grass. Makes me squirm. In the last 5 minutes he has spotted eight different insects... and I'm sitting on the grass!

Well, as you can tell today has been very laid back. I've been getting a few looks sent my way from Joe, I feel so bad. I mean after I let him down and then I let James down, I feel like a failure and I don't know why.

For some reason I feel obliged to date him, but I think that's just my nice side, it's so hard to say 'no' to anyone. And the way he gave the rose to me last night scared me... I mean he seemed mad, or maybe he was just really sad.

Oh well, James is here... laying on my legs.

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Gracias --- Abarraine and Charmelite : 2005

REVIEW 


	3. This Nothingness

Disclaimer: J'aime bien le foot. (I love soccer) Serena's teaching me french! I'm excited, marching on the brink of triligualness...

anyways, We don't own Harry Potter, but we would love to claim May Delfin and Uncle Thad as ours.

Gracias. Merci. Thanks. Abarraine and Charmelite.21 April 2005. _When done, please review._

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When She Smiles: This Nothingness 

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2 November 1983 × Sunday

7:13 pm

How dark and gloomy this weekend has become. The sunlight looks dull to me and my eyes welcome the growing darkness as the sun sets from the sky. There is no accurate word that could describe the lack of happiness that I feel towards everything. Apathy might come close, for at the moment, I want to hide away, never coming out until this occurrence is lost and forgotten.

I don’t understand this nothingness. As Lily said yesterday, all things that begin with good intentions somehow end turning out for the worst. I’ve continuously found myself asking, demanding, the answer to this one question. Why? I’ve been pleading with fate…give me resolution.

One small bit of misfortune (deception), seems to have changed everyone. Lily is constantly next to me, she’s been close to tears all weekend, and I can see only one emotion in her eyes; pain. James won’t let either of us out of his sight, it’s breaking his heart to see all of his friends, especially Lily, in so much sadness.

Sirius will soon see the aftermath of his anger, it can’t be avoided.

And why do I feel that this is all my fault?

If not for my ignorance, everyone could be laughing right now. Everyone would be fine. Why does the amount of pain that I have to face seem so trivial to that of the people whom I care so much about?

It’s been a long weekend, we’re getting through. I would like to say that it has been bittersweet, but the word doesn’t fit. The sweetness is nonexistent. Most of us are trying to avoid everything that happened Friday night. Let’s forget about it, time can heal the pain… but the presence is still weighing down upon all of us. Life seems so unclear right now.

 

                                                     #Sunday# 

 

The sunlight danced, across the windowsills and reflected brightly through the glass panes into a dorm room where six girls all lay sleeping. It was to be another warm, sunny November day. ‘Indian Summer’ as Lily liked to call it, a muggle term which nobody else quite understood besides May.

Lily slowly opened her eyes, adjusting them to the bright sunlight. She stared dully up at the scarlet canopy above her. ‘Sunday,’ thought Lily with a sigh, ‘up an extra hour early for the trip into Hogsmeade’.

Lily grabbed her wand from her bedside, waved it through the air and muttered a short incantation. The time magically appeared written in the air. 7:02 am. Way to early to be awake, but unfortunately, time to get up.

Lily quietly rose from her bed and padded over to her dresser to find a brush and a change of clothes. She clawed through the piles of clothes in her dresser, and searched for the brush amongst her pictures and other various things sitting atop her dresser. No brush. ‘Oh well,’ thought Lily with a sigh of frustration, ‘a brush is always useless with hair like mine anyway.’ Lily looked over to May’s bunk. She was still sound asleep, and practically falling out of her bed. One arm and leg were already hanging over the side and it looked like her head would be the next to go.

Lily smiled to herself and decided that she’d be the one doing the waking today.

Lily grabbed hold of May’s comforter and gave it a quick tug. May quickly came toppling out of the bed and onto the floor, along with several other items that had been sitting on her bed. Cards from their intense game of slap-jack the night before, a couple sweatshirts, jellybeans, and Lily’s bright red brush.

When May was conscious enough to realize what had just happened she glared up at Lily, "What was that for!"

"I was looking for my brush." Lily said innocently while grabbing it off of the floor. May rolled her eyes, not quite buying the statement.

"And besides," continued Lily with a smile, "You were about to fall on your head. I saved your life, you owe me."

"Oh right, that makes sense." Said May sarcastically. "I’m about to fall on my head, so in your attempt to save me, you give me an extra push. Jee, Lily that makes you an absolute hero!"

Lily laughed and helped May to her feet. The girls walked across the hall and into bathrooms so that they could get dressed for church. 

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The Marauders were already waiting for the two girls when they made it down to the common room.

"You guys really didn’t need to wait," said Lily looking around at the four bored-looking guys seated in front of the fire.

"It’s alright," said James who was already by Lily’s side, "We wanted to."

He put his arm protectively around Lily’s small shoulders and led her to the portrait hole. May fell back with the other three Marauders and together they all walked through the castle and out into the courtyard where the horse-less carriages awaited the students wishing to go to church.

May shuddered when she saw the carriages. She hated the pure black Thestrals, they reminded her so much of death. Death was something that she could do without thinking about at the moment.

May plastered a fake smile onto her face, and tried to look calm. She was convinced not to let the others notice her fear. No one needed to think that she was still fragile and helpless. After the events from Friday night she had had enough of everyone’s pity, and now that she was finally beginning to recover, she intended to stay recovered.

Lily picked a small carriage and climbed into it (with James holding her hand and helping her up. Certain that she was in safely.) The Thestral leading the cart whinnied and stomped it’s feet impatiently. No one else seemed to hear, but May closed her eyes tightly and edged closer to Sirius. She wanted to get to Hogsmeade and away from those beasts as soon as possible.

Everyone piled into the small cart. The cart had only been made to seat four, but Sirius insisted that everyone could fit. By the time they had gotten in, including Peter who takes up room for at least two people, Lily was crunched flat against the wall, her head awkwardly positioned under Remus’s arm and on top of James’ leg.

Sirius was sitting half on top of James’ lap and half on top of a smothered looking May. Remus was standing in a tight space between the carriage door, and one of the arm rests. The only person who looked truly comfortable was Peter who had taken up two of the seats.

Lily was positive that the Marauders would normally never have allowed Peter to take up an extra seat, but in this particular circumstance she didn’t blame them for not wanting to be smothered to death.

So began the ride up to Hogsmeade. Quite an interesting escapade, practically unexplainable.

May- "Sirius! I can’t see, I can’t breath, I can’t feel my legs anymore... Please! tell me that we’re almost there!"

Remus- "Uh…James, why are you holding my hand?… That’s just not right…"

James-"What! That’s YOUR hand! I’m going crazy… where’s Lily!"

Lily- "Here!" (sticks out hand from behind Remus) "What smells like coconuts?"

Peter- "Coconuts? Where?"

Sirius- "Crud, I had coconut pralines stashed in my back pocket…May, I think you’ve smashed them!"

May-"Wha'! You sat on me! And if I’ve got coconut goo all over my new skirt I’m really gunna have to hurt you…Well after you get off of me, then I’ll hurt you!"

Sirius- "If I could just try to get them out of my pocket…" (tries to get to his pocket)

James- "Sirius! That wasn’t your pocket!"

Lily- "I don’t think I want to know. Let’s quit while we’re ahead."

Remus-"Actually Lils, I think that we’re already behind, the moment when we all should have stopped talking passed at least half an hour ago."

Sirius- "Remus, I think you’re done, unless you’d like to smell like a coconut as well!"

Peter-" Where _are_ the coconuts?"

 

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After the six of us finally got out of that cramped carriage (and believe me, we were defiantly ready to be out of there) we all made our way to the beautiful wizarding church. The mass went as it usually does. Lily and I sat towards the front of the church, right next to the choir. While the Marauders decided to stay towards the back (“Easier to goof off—” “Ow, May, sorry”).

The pastor gave a wonderful sermon today. It was in honor of October 31st. All Souls' Day. As with many other things lately, his sermon focused on death. I don’t remember all of it, but my favorite part was when he preached about how our loved ones aren’t truly gone when they die.

They are with us even more now then when they were living here on earth. The most important thing that we all must realize is that all of us will die some day, it only depends on when and why. So we must be faithful to ourselves, to each other, and most importantly to God.

We must live so that we will not regret the choices we never made, or the risks that we never took. Never take anything for granted, because one day the people that you love are here, and the next they might be gone.

I had tears in my eyes by the time the pastor had finished his sermon. Everything that he said seemed so true to me. Lily squeezed my hand from beside me and I knew that she understood everything just as well as I had.

We’re so lucky to have each other, I don’t know that I could be the same person without her. I am positive, completely positive, that nothing, save death itself will ever part Lily and I. Nothing.

After the mass had ended everyone was in pretty high spirits. We decided to go to the three broomsticks for a nice lunch and some butterbeers. The restaurant hadn’t changed at all since the last time we had been in.

The restaurant wasn’t too crowded for a Sunday. A few adults, and some other Hogwarts' students were scattered about the room. We all ordered our meals, and I volunteered to get the butterbeers.

The bar was pretty busy, so I waited patiently for Rosa to take my order. I looked around, observing all of the other people sitting around the bar. To the left of me a couple of wizards with long white beards sat laughing and drinking ale. It looked as though they had already drank a bit too much, one of the old men kept trying to climb onto the counter where he promised that he could perform a Scottish jig.

I laughed and looked to the people on my right. A few students and an adult. The students looked familiar. I searched their faces trying hard to identify who they were. No luck. I decided that it was a family, judging by the identical black shaggy hair that they all shared. Probably parents meeting up with their children who have been away at Hogwarts for the last two months.

Rosa finally came to take my order. "Six butterbeers!" I said happily, "Well actually, you better make that ten, the more the better!" With four boys, it was always better to get extra then having to later sacrifice your own to one of the Marauders.

An older girl who previously had her back turned to me, turned at the sound of my voice. She was clearly a member of the family that I earlier hadn’t recognized. But this girl I did know. A Hogwarts' student, a Slytherin.

None other then Bellatrix Black.

I groaned after I made the recognition and quickly turned my back on the family. Silently pleading that Rosa would hurry up with the drinks so that I could get back into the protection of the Marauders.

I continued to feel Bellatrix’s icy glare on my back. ‘Just stay where you are,’ I silently asked of her, ‘don’t try to hurt me, or Lily, or anyone- not today.’ I knew that my wishes were in vain. But I was hoping, since she was in the presence of her family, she would just leave all of us alone.

Everything seemed to be fine, or so it seemed, until I heard Bellatrix’s harsh laugh over my shoulder. I turned around to face her.

"Hey, look who it is, May Delfin." Bellatrix smiled at me bitterly. "Imagine that, running into you at the Three Broomsticks of all places."

"Yeah, imagine that…" I responded quickly, then turned back towards Rosa.

Bellatrix continued to glare at me with hatred through her evil eyes. "I don’t think you’ve met my family, surprising really. You’d think that Sirius would want his friends to meet his family."

"No really, that’s all right, I don’t want to meet your family. I just want my butterbeers and I want to get back to my table."

Bellatrix looked over to the table that I had pointed to, and her eyes narrowed a bit more, if that was humanly possible, when she recognized who all I had come with.

"Well, if you’re in that big of a hurry, Delfin," Bellatrix sneered at me, "we might just have to come join you."

I couldn’t tell if she had said that seriously or if the remark had been sarcastic. I didn’t care. I darted under her arm and hurried back towards my friends. Rosa could bring the butterbeers to the table herself. I had to get away from Bellatrix.

I got to the table and squeezed in at the end beside Sirius. "Sorry guys," I muttered acknowledging Bellatrix, her two younger brothers, and her father who were approaching our table.

Everyone looked over towards the family. Most with recognition save Lily and Peter who had never seen them before. Sirius’s face darkened and James looked over to him with a worried expression. I could tell that neither of them were too excited about the company.

"Well look here," said Bellatrix’s father, "My beloved nephew sits with his usual posse, give or take a few," he added after noticing Lily.

The man was middle-aged, and his dark hair was gelled back, flat against his head. He had a rather pointy nose, identical to the nose of Bellatrix. The two of them looked so much alike, it was uncanny.

"Hello, Uncle Thad," muttered Sirius nervously. "Uh…It’s good to see you."

"Good to see me?" he replied with a roar of laughter, "Are you so dense that you’ve forgotten what happened the last time we saw each other?"

From the look on Sirius’ face it was apparent that he hadn’t forgotten, but was truly wishing that he had.

"I remember." replied Sirius, a bit too obediently. Bellatrix sneered across the table at Sirius.

"Well from the looks of it, you haven’t taken any of my words to heart." Sirius’ uncle looked down his long nose and into Sirius’ eyes. Sirius quickly broke eye contact, and stared dully at the table.

"Perhaps you’d like to meet some of Sirius’ friends, Father." Said Bellatrix pompously.

Sirius now looked even more miserable then he had before. Bellatrix seemed to thoroughly enjoy it.

"Here, is the infamous James Potter." She pointed to an angry looking James, and continued around the circle. Remus Lupin…."

Thad stared disgustedly at Remus. "It’s surprising really, that you’re still allowed into Hogwarts. It’s inhumane. I’ve known for years that when Albus Dumbledore would take over the school, it’d go straight to the dogs." Lily and I shared a confused look. What had he meant by that?

Bellatrix continued around the circle. "Peter Pettigrew…" Thad grunted at the name, and Peter looked to the table with humiliation. "and here is Lily Evans." Lily held her hand out to him in greeting, but Thad just stared at her intently. As if he was trying to place her into some group.

"I don’t know any wizarding families by the name of Evans." Bellatrix stared heatedly at Lily while her father’s expression darkened. "Sirius, you’re still befriending those bloody muggle borns?"

James stared up at Thad angrily. Daring him to say one more word. Thad dismissed the look of hatred in James’ eyes and continued to speak his mind.

"Time after time, you disgrace the family name by befriending mudbloods and other…animals! I’m sure that your parents will be absolutely thrilled to hear about this."

James couldn’t hold back his anger any longer. He jumped up, knocking over his chair.

"Sirius can befriend any bloody person he wants to! No one here is a mudblood. Lily is as decent of a witch as anyone. How dare you call her names!"

"Sit down, Potter," replied Thad coolly, "Sirius will do what is best for him. His family knows what is best." Sirius continued to stare at the table. "and take no offense to my words. If the girl is in fact a mudblood, then I haven’t insulted anyone, only stated the plain and simple truth."

James collapsed back into his chair. Defeated. He seemed to know that he could never fight a down-hill battle. Thad refused to be bested. Bellatrix returned to the circle, pointing to me. "Last, and least, is May Delfin."

Thad seemed to flinch when he heard the name. "Delfin," he said slowly. "Andrew was always such a Muggle lover. The fool." My eyes darkened. I didn’t want to hear him mutter such things about my parents.

Sirius seemed to awake from him trance. "Leave her alone." He pleaded. Sirius seemed powerless in front of his uncle. Where had the tough boy who was never afraid to speak his mind gone?

"Ohh," replied Thad bitterly, "So this is your bony lass?" Thad took my chin into his coarse hands and pulled my hair away from my cheek. He admired the large brown bruise on the side of my face. Tracing it with his fingers. "I do hope it was worth it…."

"What do you mean?" asked Sirius, turning his eyes back to his uncle.

"This girl hardly seems worth the trouble, and believe me, your mother wasn’t too happy when she received the owl yesterday morning."

Sirius pulled May closer to him, and away from his uncle. "She received an owl?"

Thad mocked a look of pure shock. "You didn’t honestly think that you could get away with attacking another student did you?"

"May was in trouble, she needed help!" shouted Sirius outraged.

"I’m sure she’d have lived…."

"Well all of you will have to accept it. May is my friend, and I’m sure that she would have done the same for me. I don’t care what you think anymore. Your words don’t hurt me.

"Sirius," laughed Thad, "you obviously don’t understand how serious this is. You’ll be the one who has to accept it. Amos Diggory has been in the hospital wing for the last three days. A broken arm, and countless other injuries. You attacked him. Your mother received an owl from the school and from the ministry yesterday. The ministry will hold an indictment, and depending on the results, they will punish you, and possibly even expel you. I really won’t be surprised if they do."

We all sat stunned, but none more then me. The reality of what Thad had just said was beginning to soak in. Why hadn’t Sirius thought of this before he went looking for Amos.

He could be expelled! It was my turn to stare down at the table. Tears welled in my eyes, everything was my fault. The weekend had gone so horribly, and now this. When would all the madness end?

I felt Sirius’ arm close tighter around me. "I don’t regret it." He said softly.

"Oh you will." Replied Thad. "I only hope that the girl was worth it." 

______________________________________________________________________________

I remember little of the ride home. Though we did pick a carriage that we all fit into comfortably. Everyone was pretty silent. The meeting with Bellatrix and Sirius’ uncle had been far from pleasing. And now with the knowledge of how much trouble Sirius truly was in made the day grimmer.

Once again, a good thing has turned out for the worst. I have said at least twenty prayers since we got back to Hogwarts. I pray with all of my heart that Sirius won’t be expelled. I need him here, and James needs him here. I can’t even imagine what life would be like without him. 

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AN: yes, I know, quite sad.

You've read, now please Review. 

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	4. Saving Grace

Disclaimer: Today I got caught in the rain. I watched the storm clouds saunter in, the dark blue clouds let go of their weight and drop it all on me. I twirled and skipped, each drop tickling my cheeks. I'm just too happy in the rain to worry about ever owning anything: other than May and Joe and all the aforementioned names, I, also Charmelite, own nothing.

Enjoy. Please review we greatly appreciate it.

Charmelite and Abarraine. 2005.

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When She Smiles: Saving Grace

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3 November 1983

"The Gumming is a specific kind of Lark. It feeds on the small- not weak, just small. What I mean by 'feed' is this; they bite their victim somewhere on the leg, usually the left, around the knee... about here...they leave three puncture wounds about the size of a nail head. Inside the wounds is where the 'magic' if you will, class, takes place. Injected by the Gumming are three types of Speilings- a thorn covered in microscopic critters- the Speilings let the critters loose and they travel into the small victim's bloodstream. Upon reaching the heart, they plug it. And that class, is why you should never wander into the Forbidden Forest! Who knows when the Gumming could bite!"

"That's just making me sick." Lily whispered into May's ear as they sat in their usual seats at the back of the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. Lily shivered, watching Professor McConnely tease the Gumming in the clear container.

"Yeah, I mean, Lil, your quite small." May turned halfway in her seat to look at Lily with a concerned face. "Wouldn't that be a horrible death?" Lily gulped and looked back towards McConnely. She shook her head slowly with a disgusted look on her clear face.

May shifted in her seat. Today had been the longest day ever, and it was only 10:24 am. 'Just 36 more minutes 'til break...' May turned her pale face towards the window to her left.

Dark clouds gave off an ominous feeling. May gulped as she glanced over to Sirius Black. She quickly diverted her gaze as their eyes met and he smiled. She felt so guilty. 'It was my ignorance that got us all in this terrible mess...'

Again she looked out the window, a v-shape formation of birds were flying south to the Mediterranean. The wind whistled through the trees and the pond rippled and was layered with foreign leaves.

May was suddenly brought back to the present when she heard Lily's chair scrape the ground and she stood up. May looked on quizzically then her eyes widened in fear as Lily approached the Gumming's container.

"Miss Evans, why would I make you come up here?" McConnely asked with a twirl of his wand. Lily looked at him then back to May, who bit her lip and shrugged.

"Because I have a nack for almost getting myself killed?" Lily replied innocently. Her eyes searching the Gumming's face. McConnely laughed and replied with a silky voice.

"Ahh, another try?" Lily glanced around again, this time her nervous eyes rested on James.

He was doing something with his hands. 'Fat...skinny...skyscraper?...tall! Oh short!' Lily smiled at him and turned around.

May saw James' face, the moment Lily turned, his face broke into a lop-sided grin and his eyes never left her.

"I'm the smallest here."

"Correct you are!" McConnely clapped his hands and swiveled around to face the Gumming's cage. Lily stood her ground wondering what that mad man was about to do.

James looked angry, what was McConnely playing at? Sirius was staring at May. May looked just as worried as James, her lip starting to hurt. Remus was looking stumped. Peter was eating a whizzing whiz-bee.

"Miss Evans, come... tell me, what does this little guy looks like?"

"A squirrel with horns."

"Oh, right that too."

"Professor, why am I up here? Isn’t this a little dangerous?"

"Extremely, that is why I have this vial ready in case he bites you."

"But... he's staying in that cage, right?"

"If he wants too, he seems to like you." At this McConnely turned to his class. "Now class! The most wonderful thing about a Gumming is they can see into your heart, that is why they affect your heart. Now, please, hold all questions! They see your inner being, if you will, your innocence, love, compassion, yadda, yadda, yadda. And if they see all these good qualities, they will become a loyal companion. Constantly by your side, never allowing harm." McConnely turned back to Lily. “Miss Evans, give him your hand."

"My hand. Like hold it in front of his mouth?" Lily asked looking at her insane teacher.

"No, great goodness! Curse my being dyslexic! I meant, give me your hand." Lily held out her hand towards McConnely, and in a flash he had grabbed the evil Gumming and set it in her petite, out stretched, hand.

Before Lily could shake the mad, horned creature off it had climbed onto her shoulders and begun sniffing her hair. Lily stood frozen in horror, she couldn't even scream. The whole class had their mouths open wide, who wouldn't? They had just spent a good hour learning about the painful death of a Gumming's bite.

Slowly the Gumming began combing through her hair like an ape, it sniffed her ear and moved across her shoulder, looking her square in the eyes. Suddenly the red in the Gumming's eyes died away and was replaced by a brilliant green.

"Well, my dear, I see you have been found worthy of my Gumming. You shall indeed have his protection. Now please take a seat." The Gumming had situated itself on Lily's shoulder and laid its horned head between her chin and chest.

"But, Professor- don't you need him? Won't he attack the other students?" McConnely smiled at her.

"My dear, he is no longer evil. He has no use for others. He would not hurt a fly unless you were being hurt. And no, I don’t want him, he doesn’t like me. I've had to have four doses of that vile just this morning. Nasty little bugger."

With those words, Lily looked down at the sleeping Gumming on her shoulder, she did a double take and noticed that its horns had disappeared and in place, grew soft, almost like a dogs', ears. Lily smiled and went to her seat.

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"He's the most adorable thing I've ever seen! Ahh, look how he curls up on your shoulder, ahh, Caroline, isn't he sweet?" Some Airhead was shoving her bleach blond hair into my face. I tried to see May, but I couldn't through the mass of psychotic witches crowding around me.

Suddenly I felt two strong arms wrap around my waist. I sighed in relief, as I was drug away from the whirlwind of giggly girls.

James had pulled me away. He smelled wonderful, I had to shake my head to snap out of my reverie. I turned around and said thanks to him. He smiled his usual cocky grin and grabbed my elbow, leading me to lunch.

In front of me, I saw May and Sirius walking next to each other. Sirius was whispering something in her ear that made her smile and hit him over the head. I laughed. What would May do without Sirius?

"So, when are you gonna take that thing back to the forest?" Came a voice behind me, I turned my head and saw Peter. He was eying my Gumming with dislike.

"You heard McConnel, he said tomorrow I should."

"I still can't believe he did that, I was about to send him the death curse." James laughed looking at me. May suddenly whipped around and glared at him.

"You'd use Avada Kedavra on him? Can your minuscule brain even comprehend the damage that would do? What would his family do?" With that, May pulled away from Sirius' hand, which he had placed on her shoulder, and ran through the doors of the Great Hall. I quickly followed her, I would have gotten farther, except for the arm that grabbed me.

"Lil, what was all that about?" James asked confused.

"Maybe later, James, but really, the death curse?"

May and I left the Marauders stumped, but maybe they actually thought it through.

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Lunch seemed to relax everyone, and once again, there was a huge variety of conversations.

"May, pass the mustard, por favor." (Sirius)

"What is that?" (Peter)

"Peter, can you pass me the sausage?" (May)

"Peas, Peter, they grow on a plant that’s green. They’re what some educated people call vegetables." (Lily)

"Is that an orange or a grape fruit?" (Remus)

"And a grape fruit would be?" (Peter)

"Pete, the sausage." (May)

"Grapefruit, it's bigger." (Lily)

"Coconuts!" (James)

"WHERE?" (Peter)

"Sorry guys, just had to do it.” (James)

"Sausage, can you handle that Peter?" (May)

"Hey! Does anyone know why Swiss Cheese has holes?" (Sirius)

"Why, because some ant colony got hungry in the Alps?" (Remus)

"Did they have coconuts?" (Peter)

"Let me guess, so you can see the bludgers coming at you when you eat it at practice?" (James)

groan (May and Lily)

"What do you guys take me for? It’s the bacteria! It eats it away!" (Sirius)

"Umm, guys? Who's that?" (Lily)

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Dumbledore talked to Sirius today... and his family. His parents arrived during lunch. They were pretty scary. They walked right up to Sirius and pulled him out of his chair by his hair. It would have been funny except for the fact that they looked ready to kill.

Sirius left with his parents and Dumbledore and didn't come back until dinner-- but he did come back!

We were all so worried that'd he'd been expelled and sent home with his parents without even getting to say goodbye to us.

He got a months detention and Amos got two months because Sirius argued self defense. Plus Amos is just evil. I mean taking advantage of someone so innocent! What is this world coming too?

Joe came up to me today, during my break. May and the Marauders were in Muggle Studies, quite irrelevant for me to take that class.

I was in the library, looking up vocabulary for my potions essay due Thursday when a shadow came across my notes. I looked up to find Joe sitting in the chair in front of me. Just smiling. Quite unnerving when all they do is smile. No words, just that smile.

"Hi Lily."

"Hello." He smiled even wider, making my cheeks turn a dull pink.

"Having trouble? I could help."

"No, I've got it, thanks though."

"Hey, Lily, I haven't seen you at practice much, why's that?"

"Oh, didn't you hear? Malone says I’m too much of a distraction..." I play second keeper, behind Joe. Most of the team thinks I'm more capable than him, but since he's in 7th year, I'm immediately disregarded. Now, on top of all that, I have Joe... stalking me, if you will. I really don't want a thing to do with him!

"For whom?" He laughed at that, and it was a sick laugh, the kind you do when you want people to notice you.

"Yo-May." Malone thought I was a distraction of Joe, it's not my fault he can't keep his bloody beady eyes off me!

"Oh that snarks it, you are so good. Maybe you and I could get together and practice sometime."

I think my brain stopped, I didn't know what to say!

"Uhh, sure."

"Here, this one's Phyloomun, that's the scientific name for Dragon spleen." He reached over and brushed his hand on mine. I almost jumped back but quickly caught myself.

"Thanks." I scribbled down the word, knowing in the back of my mind it would come in handy for my essay, and started to pack my things.

"Where are you going?"

"Oh, I have to grab my other books before class."

"Right, talk to you later?"

"Sure."

I don't think I could walk out of that library fast enough, just feeling his eyes bore into the back of my skull-. I can still feel the shivers down my spine. Now off to History of Magic.

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May and I decided to chill in the dorm tonight, being followed constantly is really getting on my nerves.

"Lily. I've been thinking way too much lately, and I need to get it all out. Tell me exactly what you think. And don't you dare say something just so it will make me feel better." May looked over at me. "Promise?"

"Promise." I sighed, these talks were never good, however we did our secret handshake before picking up a handful of Bertie Botts Every Flavour Jelly Beans and leaned against our conglomeration of pillows.

"Was Sirius with another girl on Halloween?" I looked at her through the darkness and nodded dejectedly.

"He was, but May, I think he saw you with another guy and put two and two together, even though that seems unlikely for such an airhead." I said, trying to make what Sirius did not seem so bad.

"But he was still with another girl. Were they kissing?"

"I don't know." I replied in all sincerity.

"Lily, do you really think he knew I was with another guy and then decided not to bother me?"

"I really do. I mean, Sirius may be something of a player, not that he'd sleep with anyone, but I know for a fact that he likes you."

"How? How can you know? Has he said it to you? Lily, I've been through enough pain in my life, and I don't think he's worth getting hurt over. He probably is just taking pity on me-"

"Why? What reason does he have to pity you or us for that matter? He doesn't know about our home lives, our humiliations, our goals in life. I think he's only ever seen me at my lowest point-"

"What? When?" She looked up from drinking her shake through her straw.

"Oh, last year. Ummm, it was the last day before holidays... I was feeling sorry for myself and I was crying in the common room late at night. It was Petunia, and I was just so strung up from exams and not being able to see you all summer that I just cracked."

May looked at me with sympathy. "They unfortunately walked in on me and wanted to know if I had over heard them talking about some prank. Remus saw me crying, they all walked around and looked at me, Remus asked me why I was crying- I've never cried in front of anyone since...”

"I didn't know that."

"Yeah, so I really don't think he has any reason to pity you. So, May think about it, why else would he like us?"

"Because James likes you."

"No May, I've seen the way he looks at you, even if you can't see it. He doesn't look at anyone else like that. I truly think he cares. You must remember this May, he went searching through the whole castle to find you when he heard you might be in trouble. And he almost got expelled for you. I'd give him another chance. May, he's a guy, which unfortunately doesn't say much."

"Thanks, I needed to hear that." She leaned her head back and glanced at the pictures on my desk.

"So, you'll give him another chance to redeem himself?"

"I suppose." May shot up and whirled around at me. "Now! Lily! On with you!"

"Me, well, ummm, what's to say about me?" I fidgeted where I sat, surrounded by enormous pillow.

"Lets see, James, Joe, quidditch..."

"Oh. yeah."

"Okay, quidditch first, since I can tell all the topics are a little sensitive."

"We really don't have to get into this..."

"Nuu uhh, Miss Lilea Kensley! You are answering my questions. You have single handedly helped me get through this now you are doing the usual, pushing your feelings and problems aside to help me. Not tonight doll." I grinned at her use of 'doll'.

"I dont do that!"

"Liar" May coughed, none so subtly. I just glared at her and heaved a sigh. She knew that I hated to talk about things. It's just my nature, I write it down. But then she has to come and corner me into professing my feelings. Curse her.

"Joe. What's up with him?"

"I guess he likes me." I looked forlornly at the quarter moon.

"And James?"

"He likes me." I couldn't help but blush.

"And Malone?" I could hear a bit of laughter in her sweet voice as she asked me about our quidditch coach.

"He thinks I'm a distraction, thus he doesn't like me."

"And how do you feel about all this?"

"Well, doctor, I like it that James will wait for me. I don't like Joe, I have no idea what he's trying to get from me and he took my spot in quidditch."

"Any further thoughts? For someone who has such a profound mind, you're lacking in intelligence."

"hmff. I have brain damage." I pointed to my head, signifying the damage.

"right. Talk lassy!” May was never one to go along with a story.

"May, I don't have anything to say! I don't want a boyfriend, I want to throw something- someone, preferably Malone, because I so want to be on the team, and I want Joe to forget about me. Good enough? Suit your standards?"

"For now." 

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If you have any questions, please ask me with your review. We'll understand where the questions come from because this story starts in the middle. Thanks for reading!

by the way. you guys are slackers when it comes to reviews. one word review works, take the extra 10 seconds to brighten my day. please.  



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